REVIEW by Ginny: Kidnapped the Wrong Sister by Marie Kelly (@puretextuality , @ginnylurcock )

To stop his brother from an unsuitable marriage, Nikias Dranias holds the woman he believes to be Daryle prisoner on his island. However, it is her sister Diona that Nikias has mistakenly held, not believing her story that she too had come to stop the marriage of the two siblings.

Soon however, sparks are flying between the two, as they find themselves fiercely attracted to each other.

The book was terribad. Save us all infinite heartbreak and remove the blurb, name, and title from your brain now.

I found this book in the free erotica section (I typed sextion here originally, LAWL) on Amazon. Small problem. This shit ain’t erotica. It’s a contemporary romance where every so often he uses her boob as a chew toy before wringing several orgasms out of her at which point he would spill his seed and then they would collapse and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Next morning she would feel like a slut.

Of course by the time I realized it, I was 20% into the book and wasn’t about to waste the time I’d already invested. I should have, but I didn’t. For you. Our readers. You owe me one.

In addition to the genre misnomer, it needed an editor. Badly. Pronouns are wrong. POVs change like it’s going out of style. Events go in circles. Some things are physically impossible. The brief scenes that were there were impossible to appreciate because I spent all my time going “wasn’t she sitting, how is he going down on her if he’s standing? Who’s on first?” And it’s not just in sex scenes. How many times did she refuse to look at him and then commented on his smile shooting straight to her lady bits.

Plus I am not a fan of on-off-on-off-on-off, ask her to be his kept woman, acuse her of treachery, don’t care and want to fuck her anyways/claim she’s not that kind of a girl but allow him to keep her on his private island and spoil her with clothing and jewelry. Seriously- someone needs to listen to “We are never ever getting back together” and wise the effe up. Or at least get things straight in their head.

I am mercurial and crazy enough, I don’t need to read about other people who can’t make up their minds.

The idea was decent. Well decent as far as contemporary romance ideas go. But the follow through… well it got distracted by a butterfly and chased that instead.

1.5 Stars. Do not waste your time.

Is currently free for Kindle

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